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What is love exactly?

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I always thought it was a feeling. An overwhelming consuming emotion that invades the soul. If I didn't melt from the very thought of him, it wasn't love.

But with maturity and age comes the realization that this is obsession and not love. This is an unhealthy dependancy on another human being to feel emotionally complete. This is addiction to extreme mental emotions with the false sense of love.

Love is not just an emotion though that is a part of it.

Love is acceptance
Love is appreciation
Love is comfort
Love is cooperation
Love is truly unconditional

Love is a much softer emotion than I thought it was. Dennis has shown me true love :) <3

Christmas party

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As promised, a photo of me from the x-mas party. I hate that the holidays has made me gain some of my weight back. I would have like to have been thinner for this photo. Hopefully next year it will be a big difference. Even in this photo I am down 20 pounds from where I was a year ago.

xmas20151web

Halloween

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I almost forgot! I had shown you all my metal skull mask that I had bought but hadn't shown you how it looked on halloween. I was pretty happy with how it turned out.

halloween

So much

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I haven't had a lot of time to update my journal lately. Between work, youtube, new WoW expansion, holidays, etc it has been too busy. Lost a good friend who passed away way too young in her sleep recently. Her husbad and 16 year old son were hit super hard so that was my focus for a few weeks. Everyone is just trying to be there for them and provide support, love and friendship. Her son does a lot of guest starring on my youtube videos so I spend a lot of time with him.

We are changing offices at work from a tiny little office with no reception area or kitchen to a huge office where I will sit in reception by myself rather than share a space with the web developer. Exciting changes happening but it has kept me busy.



The work x-mas party is this friday at 6pm. I am the only female in the office so there is a lack of understanding of a female having to get ready for a work x-mas party lol. All these guys can wear their suits to work and be ok. I have to get ready in the bathroom because spending the day in a formal dress and sparkly heels doesn't really work all that well and they scheduled the party for an hour after we close the office. Especially when we are doing a big move so I have to dress casual tomorrow to move stuff. I'll try and post a picture of myself all dressed up for the party if I can :). I'm just excited I found a great dress but need to go buy some sparkly shoes and pantyhose after work today.

I hope you are all having a fantastic holiday season.

Boring update

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Nothing really exciting going on. Just been working on my youtube channel per usual. Ended 2 game series and starting a new one today to replace them with. Working and going to the gym. Lost another pound.

That is about it. I'm hoping to get some time this weekend to test out some ideas for halloween. We are going to a halloween/birthday party next weekend and I want to do something original. Just not sure what yet.

Weekend

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Friday - Work gave me a fitbit as a thank you for all my hard work!
lj3

I've been doing a lot of weight lose and my boss is really into fitness. I had been talking about wanting one for the last year and so he got me one. It is wonderful to feel appreciated at my job! Here is my weight lose progress so far.

Got home from work and spent most of the night doing recordings for my youtube channel. I also did some knitting and watched tv. It was nice and relaxiing.

Saturday - Woke up early and played some games. Then I woke up Dennis and we went out for some exercise. First stopped at subway for lunch and then took the car home and walked to go exploring some of the trails through the neighborhood. It was nice for many reasons. It was nice to get some exercise and nice to spend some time with him just walking and talking about whatever came to our mind.

lj1

During the walk we found a park with a swing set. I hadn't been on a swing in probably 10+ years so I jumped on. I was surprised when he joined me though he didn't for long. He doesn't like stomach falling sensations. But I do so he sat in front of me on a curb and we talked while I swing causing my fitbit to go kind of crazy lol.

Then back home we went where we played some Diablo 3 together before waking up the roomies and we all went out to Olive Garden for dinner. After that it was off to other friends for gaming night.

I had woke up so early that I was exhausted so I passed out during game which is when this photo was taken lol.
lj2

Sunday - Did laundry, spent more time playing Diablo 3 with Dennis and then got on with 3 other friends and did a 2 hour recording of us playing Diablo 3. I now have to find a way to edit that 2 hours down to the top candid moments in 20 minutes lol.

And now at work so I should go but there is my weekend in a nutshell.

Credit

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I've been building my credit over the last year. It was pretty tarnished from all the years of medical debt from my daughters IBS. Over time that has slowly rolled off and I bought and paid for a car. My bank finally gave me a card and I'm now building my credit the way my mom did after her bankruptcy.

I use the card only for gas in the car. As I spend it, I move the funds to savings. The card has 0% interest when balance is paid in full and I get 5% cash back on gas. So I'm basically being paid by the bank 5% cash back to build my credit. Not a bad deal at all :D

I love #2

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This is the other one I got. Totally in love with it!
mask2
mask2b

Opinions?

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It feels like it sits kind of low on my face. I'm not sure if it looks right on me.
mask

Snooze button

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I either slept through my alarm or turned it off in my sleep. I suspect the later. Thankfully my internal alarm goes off but sadly never until I need to leave in 20 minutes. Got up and got dressed, makeup and hair in record time (of course I didn't do half my make-up). Left the house only 10 minutes late and thankfully no traffic so got to work 10 minutes early.

I spent the drive in on the phone with my mother. She is 73 and for someone who has spent my entire life working on computers, she is completely computer illiterate and makes me want to pull my hair out sometimes (I love her dearly btw). Awhile back I was trying to help her get her wireless router back online. I don't remember what was up with it but we had to hard reset it. When we did, it lost the password to her DSL that is required to authenticate and we had to hook her computer directly to the modem. We called the DSL people and the night/weekend support could not give us the password. They arranged a call back during the day.

That is when my sister the spaz showed up and took mom out doing stuff leaving nobody home when they called. Understandable because my sister was building a deck on moms house and doing tons of repairs and had limited time to do it. Sister comes and goes and mom has now forgotten about the password. I tried reminding her a few times but she only had one computer so she didn't see a point.

Until she bought a laptop without saying anything to me (which is fine. She is a grown woman and can do what she wants with her money), called the DSL company who convinced her to upgrade to their wireless modem but failed to tell the 73 year old that she couldn't have the old modem and the new at the same time (ie she has to pick it up but can't keep the old modem allowing me to come hook it up for her). They tell her they will charge her $50 an hour to come hook it up for her. Tell her after she agreed to pick it up that if she changes her mind they will charge her a restocking fee. Generally not being pleasent to her at all. So basically they require this 73 year old to be climbing around under a desk or shell out a bunch of money on her limited income to have them come do it or shell out money if she realizes this isn't going to work because of information they never gave her in the first place.

I told her to send me all her info and I'll call. I might have to have her add me as someone they are authorized to speak to. We will see. But I will get this all straightened out and I might have to make another trip to her house which is a 3 hour drive north. I usually only go once a month and just went this last weekend but I might need to go again soon to get everything working for her.

Edited: Ok LJ.. wtf. Yesterday you wouldn't let me have spaces between my paragraphs forcing me to double space to add them. Today you are putting white text behind my font so it looks all f'd up on my black lj design. Fixed. I had to go into the html and remove the font and background colors but still no idea why it added it.

Profile

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rayce
_The_ Wench

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